Shades

Can you feel me?

I lie awake, my back against the pavement,
Having trekked to the midnight crossroads
To make my offerings and utter my unrequited petitions,
Reaching out to you along the path of the Northern Star
To where you sleep,
A direct longitudinal line above me.

I could measure the distance in miles or kilometres
And we would still be as far apart.
But if you said the words
I would have my papers in order and start walking.

Instead, I can only project my love to you
With a passion-enflamed intensity
So visceral that I can touch you, smell you...
Taste you -
As I plunder the enrapturing kiss from your perfect lips.

Thus, my will fuels my spirit across the highways,
Allowing it to wander through the forests,
Flitting through the trees,
With only Polaris and my heart to guide me.

I would be surprised if you didn't occasionally glimpse me
In your periphery,
Caught for a split second
Before logic defeats reality.

Please forgive the intrusion, my love,
And my clumsy attempts to bite back the words
That I fear should not be spoken.
They are trumped by the emotions that overtake me,
That seek to chase your heart,
That yearn for your arms' embrace,
And desire to steep in your entrancing scent -
That pheromonal primal essence that holds me a willing captive
When my face burrows into the warmth of your chest,
And to touch you as my fingers map
The delicate contours of the back of your neck,
And intoxicate themselves
On the impossible softness of your hair,
While everything else in the world is completely forgotten in the hypnotic rush...

Where was I?

Sometimes I feel you.

Awakening in the middle of the night,
Out of breath and heart pounding -
I dreamed that I was in love with you.

And then realized I wasn't dreaming.

Were you just here?
I looked out the window
And thought I could see you among the shadows.
And sometimes my mind spontaneously engages your apparition in conversation
Before I realize that I am alone.
Why am I consumed by the thought of you?

Your phantom has stalked me
And caught me emotionally unprepared.
So I ask that you pardon the words that were
Poorly chosen, betraying too much,
When last I spoke to you in the flesh.

It's as if your spirit had flown above the highways,
Winged over the forests, and alighted on the tree
Just outside my window to watch me,
And I occasionally glimpse you
In my periphery...

And I also hear your song,
At once a lullaby and a siren song
Calling to me....
Calling me...
Where?

Calling me to the end of the beginning or
The beginning of the end...

It calls me to the midnight crossroads
To summon the Loa
But Papa Legba is a trickster spirit
And he answers my petitions in the affirmative
Whether or not it's for the best,
And I can hear him laughing sometimes.

Laughing at my former triumphs

Laughing at my current tears.

We all must be careful what we wish for -
But my broken heart hardly cares
Whether it was I who enchanted you,
Or you who bewitched me.

So today my shade haunts the forests,
Scanning the skies for the spirit bird
Who "stole" the heart
That I gave so willingly.

But I am too tired to meet you here.
My body lies at home in bed,
While my soul wanders
Lost,
Mourning the ache of my empty arms
And the sting of the cold sheets against my skin.

You insist that the physical world is lost to us,
But I need to be loved by more than just a ghost.